Last week, I went to the Grand National Tour in Paris (Night 1) with some of my best friends (shout out Joan & Joseph) and

I had the time of my fucking life.

video credit: @sacha_dam

There’s nothing like hearing your favorite songs live — performed by one of your favorite artist. 

So imagine two.

After the concert, the three of us sat on the sidewalk, completely dazed, trying to process whatever the hell we had just witnessed. I was drenched in sweat, covered in bruises

(because yes, your girl is ALWAYS in the pit, moshing),

when a question came up:

Was the Grand National Tour better than the Big Steppers Tour?

We’d all been lucky enough to see both.

Joan and Joseph in Paris, and me, in New York.

So we started debating. (as if we had any right, lmao, let me shut up)

“Yeah but GNT had SZA.”

“What about Keem though?”

Truth is, concerts are as good as you experience them. You’re not on the production team, you don’t know the blood, sweat, and tears that went into it — all you know is how it felt.

How you felt. 

And while GNT was phenomenal — the structure, the vibe, the energy — this love letter isn’t about that one.

It’s about The Big Steppers Tour. My first ever real concert.

(3 years of my teenage hood was during Covid so yes my first concert was at 16.)

But before I get into the concert, I need to talk about the album.

Mr. Morale & The Big Steppers.

May 2022.

What Actual

The Fuck


 

This was Kendrick opening up.

Not for us — for him.

But in the process, it became therapy for so many of us too. He touches on so many deeply rooted issues in Black American communities — from every angle too: men, women, children.

And maybe you're thinking

“How the hell does she relate then?”

Well, it made me realize how much North African families actually have in common with African American ones. Yes, we obviously have very different contexts, very different histories. But damn, the similarities are real.

“Father Time” basically described my grandpa and my dad. No hugs. No feelings. Just sweat, hard work, and “tough love.”

This album forces you to sit with yourself. It’s introspective. It's electrifying

(sorry drizzy, I had to).

Every track feels like a therapy session — from family trauma to relationships to identity.

My favorites? 

Count Me Out, Savior, Mirror.

Fast forward to July 2022.

I’m packing for NYC. Excited as ever, I’m scrolling through pop-ups, exhibitions, things to do — not even thinking about concerts.

Growing up in Dubai, concerts were not a thing. Don’t get me wrong — I loved my life there and I’m SUPER grateful. But artists rarely came to the UAE, especially the ones I loved. And when they did, they played at clubs, which meant 14-year-old me couldn’t even go.

And on top of that, MOTHERF* COVID spawned out of nowhere.

So besides Young Thug in 2019 at a small festival, I had never seen one of my favorite artists perform live.

I miss my little careless life there

When I saw:

I jumped out of bed.

Called my sister Sirine (born & raised New Yorker — I always stay at hers). She was down. Called my mom. Begged.

Boom.

I had FLOOR tickets to see KENDRICK. In NEW YORK. 

Unreal, I know.

On the day of the show, I threw my hair in a ponytail (because again: your girl? Moshing) and laced up my Ricks. We blasted Kendrick & Keem on the way there, hyped but stressed — we’d only pulled up two hours before.

I thought: “Great, Alya. You’re not gonna see shit.”

…

I. Was. At. The. Barricade.

Tanna Leone opened. I didn’t know him or his music before, but hearing it live?

BRUH

I feel like there’s nothing better than discovering an artist live.

Butterfly and Lucky were my favs.

Then Keem came on. Chaos.


Sirine and I were going bar for bar. Trademark USA, Moshpit, Lost Souls, 16, Orange Soda — everyone in our section was lit.

And still — Kendrick hadn’t even stepped out yet. And already, I knew this was the best show I’ll ever experience.

Keem’s set ended. We were catching our breath.

Then the lights dropped.

And suddenly…

I hope you find some peace of mind,

in this lifetiii iiii iiiiime…

My hands were shaking. My eyes were tearing up.

From that moment on:

every choreo, every outfit, every screen

— blew my mind.

THE MJ GLOVE.

THE TIFFANY CROWN.

THE ARROWS.

ARE WE JOKING?!

The man who taught me English. 

He was right in front of me.

Then Family Ties dropped.

Keem back on stage.

Crowd exploded.

Beat dropped.

Craziest moment of my life.

When the show ended, Sirine and I walked back to the car. I started crying. Not just because I saw Kendrick — but because I had no idea how to process what I’d just lived.

Sirine looked at me and said:

“You know what would be the perfect way to end this night?”

I assumed she meant food. (She did — but that was only the second half of her plan.) We hit McDonald’s after. I don’t think I’ve ever eaten that much in one sitting.

Let’s just say… the appetite was real.

We got home. Knocked out.

Woke up with what we now call Post Concert Depression.

I was rewatching every single video I took like a crazy ex .

To this day, I’d relive that tour a thousand times over. And after every concert or festival I’ve been to, I can say this confidently:

Kendrick is the best performer I’ve ever seen.

Tyler’s at his neck. That Flog Gnaw set in 2024?

Insane.

Anyways

To everyone who made that tour possible — dancers, stylists, techs, designers, assistants, production,  thank you.

Tanna, thanks for the discovery.

Keem, thanks for Melodic Blue (but I’m still waiting on you).

And Kendrick.

Thank you for teaching me English.

Thank you for your discography.

And thank you for the Big Steppers Tour

— my first real concert.

Hope I get to tell you all this in person one day.

Until then…

MUSTAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARD !